Victim vs creator mindset and the power of choice

Victim vs Creator Mindset and the Power of Choice

The victim/creator mindset is fundamental to how we live our lives.

Are we victims and blame others for our actions, or do we see things from a creative point of view and become more self-aware to make better choices?  

We’ve all been in the shoes of both the creator and the victim. When we are the creator, we are the captain of our ship and take responsibility for our actions.

Sometimes, we find that others are running our lives, and we don’t make any changes for fear of retaliation.

In this article, I talk about how to better understand the creator mindset while maintaining a balanced life.

What is the Victim Mindset?

The victim mindset can be characterized by a lack of responsibility. Instead of acting and making choices for ourselves, we become acted upon, causing us to become the victim of our circumstances and avoid responsibility.

For example, what would have to happen to make your job a better place?

Would your boss or coworkers need to change? Or is there something you could do to change?

If you’re thinking about your boss and coworker’s faults, you’re in the victim mindset.

When we become the victim and avoid responsibility we become self-deceived and counterproductive. 

As we choose to be the creator of our circumstances, let go of fear, and be accountable for our actions. We become empowered and have more choices.  

What is the Creator Mindset

The creator mindset can be characterized by someone who takes responsibility for their actions. This type of person speaks for themselves to increase clarity and ownership of the situation.

A good way to do this is to become more aware of self. For example, when a problem presents itself, use the awareness wheel to understand how you think, feel, and want.

Becoming more aware of your intentions will help you bridge the gap to interpersonal gap and put you in the creator seat that increases your options.


Do we approach life from a creative point of view where we are aware of our environment and our own internal state so we can make better choices, or are we victims blaming others for our actions and reacting to situations without making choices?  

Key Points

Use “I” language

  • Speak for yourself to increase clarity and ownership.
  • “I think …, I feel…, I want…”

Stay as much as you can in a creative position rather than becoming the victim.

Become more aware of yourself (thoughts, feeling & wants) to make better choices.

When I realize that I make choices in every aspect of my life, stress reduces, I’m more productive and happier because I’m in control my life. 

Remember motivation is in the creative process.  Although at times it may seem like I’m a victim, I always have a choice, even when it is one that I may not like. 

With awareness, I can choose to be angry, afraid, happy, or sad.  No longer can I say “You made me mad”.  I may be influenced by what you said or did, but ultimately, my emotions are my choice just as my thoughts are.


LIOS, The Leadership Institute of Seattle, founded by Bob Crosby in 1969, has a key ingredient built around self-differentiation in its consulting work and its MA program in the Applied Behavioral Sciences. LIOS director, Brenda Kerr, Dennis Minno (current faculty member), and Dr. Ron Short (former faculty member) developed these concepts and built training designs. They give credit to Dr. Edwin Friedman and his mentor, Dr. Murray Bowen, for their original ideas in this area. LIOS, 1450 114th Ave. SE, Suite 230, Bellevue, WA 98004. The author, along with Dr. Ron Short and John Scherer were the original faculty of the MA program, which began in 1973. The Crosbys are current faculty members.

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